a matter of chaos

I’m hypersensitive. My extreme sensitivity affects many parts of daily life too. Loud or unexpected sounds, bright colors and lights, constant chatter, repetitive noises… and strangely enough, even conversations that jump from one topic to another can cause me a lot of problems.

Some noises actually hurt my ears. Not just annoying: painful. That’s why I often walk around my city with earphones in, even if they’re turned off, just to reduce the pain. And yet, listening to loud music doesn’t bother me at all.

Bright light hurts my eyes. Physical pain, usually behind my right eye. Constant noises grab a chunk of my focus. If I’m working, designing, thinking, or even just chatting, I feel like a part of me is tied up and pulled toward that noise.

Each of these everyday situations can push me into autistic overload. When overload hits, I disconnect from the world around me until I absolutely need to isolate myself.

Walking next to someone like me means that clapping hands for no reason, making small talk, flashing a camera in my face, chewing loudly actually hurt me. But know this: I love the mountains and little mountain villages for a very clear reason. Take me there, have real, meaningful conversations with me, and I’ll be a great travel buddy!

daysof.it

A personal journal about neurodivergence,
music, and the courage to be understood.